Yeh...she's crazy

If you asked one of my friends, she'd probably say I'm a pretty "emotionless" person, at least when it comes to crying. I was never the person to cry at the movies or over a book I was reading. Well these days, I don't know WHO has taken over my body, but majority of the time I feel like I'm wavering between insanity and well, partial insanity...My emotions, and MOOD for that matter, is all over the map...and it's highly annoying. I will be perfectly fine one minute, then the next I'm completely loosing it. It can be something as simple as not being able to get a jar open to realizing I purchased plane tickets for the wrong return date from Fort Collins. I seem to have lost all my problem-solving skills and resort to panic and "I-can't-go-on-anymore" feelings. A bit dramatic? Hmm, I would say more hard-core going-to-Hollywood type dramatics. Poor Matthew :0) He is being a trooper and loving me in spite of feeling like he's walking on eggshells some days. This morning, after my panic attack about the tickets, he emailed me this...a reminder of WHO I belong to this morning, even in this state of being snotty, panicky, whiny, etc...he writes describing a picture of Christ delighting in my THIS morning and ends by saying, "This is our God. This is our Father. He is OURS, and more importantly WE ARE HIS. WE BELONG TO HIM, on earth he fights for us because we are in the "not yet", but never forget, or better yet, always remember, that in the "already" WE ARE UTTERLY OWNED BY GOD. Keep this in your heart all day. This should be the glasses you wear today. Put this truth on, and see through it. As Christ is also breaking the blindness from my eyes, I love My Bride being refined in pools of Christ's warming healing blood, blood shed for her." That is the reminder I need daily, or rather HOURLY lately with these roller coaster emotions and mood swings. I want to hate myself for being out of control. Christ wants to scoop me up and show me how much love he has to pour out on me TODAY, in this very hour. What a mystery to my proud, self-efficient heart!!